Is there something wrong with me?

Do you ever feel like something is wrong with you? Like you are a mistake that needs to be fixed? Like you can never do anything right and you never will?

You are not the only one thinking these things. We live in a world that causes us to question our worth and whether or not we have any value. We can see how other people are 'doing amazing' and think that we are failing because we aren't having their awesome life. Someone might say something that makes you think you aren't good and makes you question whether or not they are telling the truth.

You might have a sibling that is super smart and think that your parents care for them more because they better grades than you. There may be someone on your sports team better than you and the coach spends more time with them and feel like you don't belong. You might try your hardest to fit in and no matter what happens you are always on the outside looking in.

All these experiences can cause us to question whether or not we are good as human beings. They can make us come up with plans and strategies to win over other people that are really unhealthy. You might want attention from you parents so you do things that are rebellious only so that they pay attention. You may believe that if you are the best at everything you will finally find approval from your parents, siblings, teachers or coaches and push yourself to do over the top things.

When we believe there is something wrong with us and aren't loved unless we do something for others we live in a trap, a never ending life of trying to be good enough for other people. It is the idea of having the carrot on a stick dangling in front of a donkey and believing you will never get the carrot.

If you feel like this is you I want you to know two things. 1.) You are enough as you are. 2.) You are loved for who you are.

You might have been told these things before but they never sink it, or you may have never been told these things and you are hearing these for the first time. So how do you actually believe them for yourself and not act out of not feeling like enough or unloved?

First, tell yourself that you are loved for who you are.

This may feel like it is untrue or just plain stupid but it works. I used to think I was the worst person on planet earth, then I started to tell myself I was good and loved, now I believe it. It is not a quick process but it works, if you are consistent with it.

Secondly, tell yourself you are enough.

Something happened in your life that made you think that there is something wrong with you. It's called a narrative. Once you know where the narrative started you can change it and bring in a new story to tell yourself. Let's say every time you got a B on a test you get upset cause your brother always gets an A. So you tell yourself you suck because you can't get good. The narrative you have is I suck because I'm dumb, what we want to do is say, I am smart in my own way.